Bigfoot Might Be Gay

I just finished a book by leading Bigfoot authority, Loren Coleman. The book is titled, “Bigfoot! : The True Story of Apes in America.”

As you may or may not know, I have a slight fascination with the beast we know as “Bigfoot.” I wrote a report on bigfoot in the 6th grade and since that time have been both intrigued and terrified by the idea of a giant human-like ape wandering around in the woods. And because I spend so much time out in the forest by myself, the idea of Bigfoot scares me even more!

In Coleman’s book, he discusses many of the famous Bigfoot cases and reveals some Bigfoot stories I had never heard before. One of these unknown stories ended up causing a huge ruckus on the Internet after people listening to one of Coleman’s speeches misinterpreted his message and thought that the renowned Bigfoot expert was suggesting that Bigfoot might be gay!

Here’s what happened:

In 2001, Coleman was giving a speech to a good-sized group (about 225 people) of Bigfoot enthusiasts in Newcomerstown, Ohio. During his presentation, Coleman briefly told the story of an eyewitness who had seen Bigfoot having sex with a cow. Coleman “lightheartedly wondered aloud if 10 percent of the Bigfoot population, matching the figures we have for Homo sapiens, might be gay.” He then moved on to another subject.

At the end of Coleman’s lecture, the Bigfoot expert answered a number of questions, but no one brought up the “sex question.”

It was to Coleman’s surprise then, that a few days later the Internet was abuzz with outrage over his suggestion that Bigfoot might be gay.

People who were not even in attendance at the seminar in Ohio were sending Coleman nasty emails and making horrible comments about him on the Web. Some people were upset with the fact that the Bigfoot expert had brought up the subject when there were children in attendance at the presentation.

One angry writer wrote, “Talking about bigfoot and anal sex with cattle by an unclassified creature when there are children in the audience who may view Bigfoot as a monster anyway, isn’t a subject YOU as the speaker, arbitrarily have the right to inflict on other families.” Another person wrote, “ The most important point is that you have NO credible evidence that Sasquatch have anal intercourse with cattle. What stupid illiterate speculation!!!!!!!!!!”

Then, something funny happened! Another Internet user responded by saying, “Actually, if Bigfoot was gay, he wouldn’t be having sex with cows, he’d be having sex with bulls!”

To follow that up, Dave Grenier of Olympia, Washington clarified the joke by saying that, no, “if Bigfoot was gay, he’d be having sex with another Bigfoot, not a bull.”

In the end, Coleman notes that to this day many people remember him only as the guy who said “Bigfoot is gay” and “has anal sex with cows.”

This might be a devastating professional blow for Coleman, but to me it’s just plain funny!